53rd Annual Grammy Awards… RESULTS!

LADY ANTEBELLUM was the big winner at last night's "Grammys"... pulling down FIVE awards, including Song of the Year and Record of the Year for their ballad "Need You Now".

(The same song winning both awards really legitimized David Letterman's joke... during a special Grammy Top 10... about nobody knowing the difference between the two categories.)

ARCADE FIRE won the big award, Album of the Year, for "The Suburbs".

EMINEM started the night with 10 nominations, but only won two Grammys... for Best Rap Album and Best Rap Solo Performance.

The true shocker of the night had to be JUSTIN BIEBER not winning Best New Artist.

And also the fact that he lost the award to ESPERANZA SPALDING... a chick who plays the UPRIGHT BASS.  (???) She's the first jazz artist to ever win the category.

(Drake, Florence & the Machine and Mumford & Sons were also up for it.)

(Almost immediately after Esperanza's win, Bieber fans took out their anger on her Wikipedia page.  You can read more about that here.)

JAY-Z, JOHN LEGEND and LADY GAGA each won three awards.

Gaga tried to be all edgy and arty, as usual... by being carried into the Grammys inside an EGG.

Gaga "hatched" out of the egg for her performance of "Born This Way".  If you're familiar with the movie "This Is Spinal Tap", it was kind of reminiscent of Spinal Tap coming out of their pods to perform "Rock and Roll Creation".
If you recall, the bass player had to perform the entire song inside his pod, because it wouldn't open.

"USA Today" claims Gaga had a similar moment, because she was supposed to come out of her egg to greet the paparazzi on the red carpet, but she couldn't because the latch got stuck.

In the crazy department, Gaga was easily shown up by CEE-LO GREEN, who performed "Forget You" with GWYNETH PALTROW and a bunch of Muppets.

Cee-Lo's outfit consisted of a red gorilla suit body, peacock feathers and some kind of metal skull-cap that LIZA MINNELLI or CHER might have worn in the late 1970s.
(And by the way:  Did we NEED to see Gwyneth Paltrow performing at the Grammys?  No.  But I'll take her over Coldplay any day of the week.)

The show started with a tribute to ARETHA FRANKLIN featuring Christina Aguilera, Martina McBride, Jennifer Hudson, gospel singer Yolanda Adams and Florence Welch of Florence & the Machine.

It was pretty awesome, and Christina ALMOST completely redeemed herself for messing up the national anthem at the Super Bowl.  Except that she kind of wiped out at the end.

(That'll stifle all those rumors that she's drinking too much, huh?  Also, is it just me, or does Christina look more like CYNDI LAUPER every day?  Not a compliment, by the way.  You can see video of Christina slipping here.)

After the performance, Aretha herself appeared via video, thanking everyone for their support during her recent health crisis, and vowing to be at next year's Grammys IN PERSON.  She looked and sounded great.

Other Grammy Highlights:

There wasn't much controversy at last night's "Grammys".  If anything was close to the line, it was SETH ROGEN'S dig on MILEY CYRUS.

He said, quote, "I've seen things I've never seen before.  I heard things I've never heard before.  And that wasn't even watching the show.  That was just backstage getting high with Miley Cyrus."

Another interesting moment was having SELENA GOMEZ present the Best Pop Vocal Album . . . which JUSTIN BIEBER was nominated for.  Co-presenter DONNIE WAHLBERG tried to get a reaction out of her, but she wouldn't take the bait.
(How about Bieber and JADEN SMITH performing together?  Was this "music's biggest night", or a Nickelodeon special?  I kept expecting someone to get slimed.)

TRAIN singer PAT MONAHAN had the best acceptance speech moment.  After "Hey Soul Sister" won Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group, he thanked Justin Bieber for, quote, "not being a duo or group."

And how about this:  TIA CARRERE... the sexy minx who played MIKE MYERS' girlfriend Cassandra in the "Wayne's World" movies... won a Grammy for Best Hawaiian Music Album.  She also won it in 2009.

(That's one of those awards they don't televise.)

The 2011 Grammy Winners:

Album of the Year:  "The Suburbs",  Arcade Fire

Record of the Year:  "Need You Now",  Lady Antebellum

Song of the Year:  "Need You Now",  Lady Antebellum

Best New Artist:  Esperanza Spaulding

Best Pop Album:  "The Fame Monster",  Lady Gaga

Best Female Pop Performance:  "Bad Romance",  Lady Gaga

Best Male Pop Performance:  "Just the Way You Are",  Bruno Mars

Best Pop Performance By a Duo or Group:  "Hey, Soul Sister (Live)",  Train

Best Pop Collaboration:  "Imagine",  Herbie Hancock, Pink, India.Arie, Seal, Konono No. 1, Jeff Beck and Oumou Sangare

Best Dance Recording:  "Only Girl (in the World)",  Rihanna

Best Rock Song:  "Angry World",  Neil Young

Best Rock Album (Includes Hard Rock And Metal):  "The Resistance",  Muse

Best Alternative Music Album:  "Brothers",  The Black Keys

Best Rock Performance By a Duo or Group:  "Tighten Up",  The Black Keys

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance:  "Helter Skelter",  Paul McCartney

Best Rock Instrumental Performance:  "Hammerhead",  Jeff Beck

Best Hard Rock Performance:  "New Fang",  Them Crooked Vultures

Best Metal Performance:  "El Dorado",  Iron Maiden

Best R&B Song:  "Shine",  John Legend and The Roots

Best R&B Album:  "Wake Up!",  John Legend & The Roots

Best Contemporary R&B Album:  "Raymond V Raymond",  Usher

Best Urban/Alternative Performance:  "(Eff) You",  Cee Lo Green

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance:  "Bittersweet",  Fantasia

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance:  "There Goes My Baby",  Usher

Best R&B Performance By a Duo or Group:  "Soldier of Love",  Sade

Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance:  "Hang on in There",  John Legend and The Roots

Best Rap Song:  "Empire State of Mind",  Jay-Z and Alicia Keys

Best Rap Album:  "Recovery",  Eminem

Best Rap Solo Performance:  "Not Afraid",  Eminem

Best Rap Performance By a Duo or Group:  "On To The Next One",  Jay-Z and Swizz Beatz

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration:  "Empire State of Mind",  Jay-Z and Alicia Keys

Best Country Song:  "Need You Now",  Lady Antebellum

Best Country Album:  "Need You Now",  Lady Antebellum

Best Country Performance By a Duo or Group:  "Need You Now",  Lady Antebellum

Best Female Country Performance:  "The House That Built Me",  Miranda Lambert

Best Male Country Performance:  "Til Summer Comes Around",  Keith Urban

Best Country Collaboration:  "As She's Walking Away",  Zac Brown Band and Alan Jackson

(You can sort through ALL 109 categories at Grammy.com.)

(JeffOnRadio)