Someone get this woman a jug of whiskey and an ice pack, STAT!

On Friday, Janet Johnson of Longview, Texas gave birth to the biggest baby in Texas history. He's a baby boy who came out two feet tall... and SIXTEEN POUNDS.

The average baby weighs about seven-and-a-half pounds, or less than HALF of what Janet's baby weighed.

Her baby's name is JaMichael Brown.

Right now he's under observation because there are some potential health problems for babies that big. They can have high blood sugar at birth which makes them more prone to diabetes. But otherwise, he's a totally healthy baby.

And because you're curious, yes, he was delivered via C-section.

The world record for the largest baby is 23 pounds, 12 ounces.