Survey Reveals Family Conflict: Wives vs. Moms
Mother's day is Sunday May, 10. Do you know when it comes to celebrating good ol’ Mom on Mother’s Day, husbands and wives don’t see eye to eye? A new, national survey of married couples with kids reveals more than one in three women (40 percent) say now that they’re a mom, it’s THEIR Mother’s Day. And about one in three men (30 percent) say they’re torn between celebrating their wife and their mother.The national survey of 300 men and women was commissioned by Visiting Angels, one of our nation’s largest in-home senior care companies with more than 500 offices throughout the country.
MOTHER’S DAY IS STRESSFUL
Mother’s Day has become the third most celebrated U.S. national holiday, right behind Christmas and Valentine’s Day (based on the number of greeting cards given on each holiday, anyway). Yet with all the cards, flowers, and fuss comes frustration to get it right for all the moms in our lives. More than one in four surveyed (26 percent) say Mother’s Day has caused stress, and nearly one in four (23 percent) say they have had conflict over Mother’s Day plans.
• The majority of the conflict (57 percent) is about where to spend Mother’s Day (ie: their mom’s house, their house, a restaurant, etc.)
• More than one in four (28 percent) say with the modern family, there are too many moms to please (ie: wife, mom, stepmom, etc.)
• One in four (25 percent) say no matter what plans they make, they can’t please everyone.
MOM VS. DAD
The men and women who chose Mom over Dad say it’s because:
1. Mom deserves the attention
2. They have more in common with Mom
3. It’s the least they can do after Mom went through nine months of pregnancy and labor
4. Mom is their favorite parent and
5. Mother's Day seems to be a bigger holiday than Father's Day, and they feel obligated to celebrate Mom over Dad.
WHY VISIT MOM ON MOTHER’S DAY?
• 90 percent say I love her and want to spend time with her.
• More than half (59 percent) say because they want to set a good example for their kids.
• Nearly one in four (22 percent) say they feel obligated to visit Mom on Mother’s Day and Mom might give them a guilt trip if they didn’t.
ARE WE GIVING GIFTS MOM WANTS?
Perhaps some of the stress comes from picking out the perfect gift for Mom. Americans will spend more than $20 billion on Mother’s Day gifts this year alone! The Visiting Angels survey reveals the majority of adult children will spend a total of $51-$100 on Mother’s Day gifts.
So, what gifts do adult children plan to give Mom this year?
• Top gift: a card
• Second: flowers
• Equally tied for third: phone call, dinner out or quality time with them and the children
When moms were asked what they REALLY want for Mother’s Day, they said:
• Equally tied for the top gift: a card and dinner out
• Equally tied for 2nd: homemade gifts and “my kids are so busy, I’d rather have quality time with my family than any gift.”
• Equally tied for 3rd: spa, flowers, phone call (So, we’re on track because more phone calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year!).
Perhaps we make Mother’s Day such a big deal because we don’t feel we do enough for Mom the rest of the year.
• More than half (60 percent) admit they sometimes feel guilty about not spending enough time with Mom.
• More than 3 in 4 (83 percent) plan to visit their mom on Mother’s Day, and (90 percent) of them say it’s because they love her. Yet others say they visit partly out of obligation or because Mom might give them a guilt trip.
• Yet more than 1 in 4 (26 percent) say when they do spend time with Mom, after about four hours, they get antsy.
“It’s no surprise the survey reveals adult children want to make a big deal for Mother’s Day because they don’t get as much time with their aging parents as they want to, and when they do see their parents, they’re so busy they may not be able to relax and truly enjoy their company,” said Larry Meigs, CEO of Visiting Angels, one of our nation’s largest in home senior care companies. “We help relieve that stress by sending caregivers into the homes of aging relatives.
On Mother’s Day, and every day, our caregivers provide companionship, light housekeeping, meal preparation and transportation so children can truly enjoy spending time with their parents without the duties of caregiving. When you can’t be there for Mom, we’re here to help.”
(Source:Stacey Hilton/Visiting Angels)